In my feelings. It hurts, it sucks, I hate it… But it’s part of being alive.

A few days back, I read somewhere that each year we pass the anniversary of our death without even knowing. I have not been able to forget the statement since! Sometimes I’m thinking maybe next year today is the day or maybe I won’t even be there.! And it feels wierd, or rather I can’t explain that feeling.

Then I thought, how many rip’s would I get really? I figured they would be a number. Mostly from people I barely talk to saying how they think I was a nice quiet person (Of course noone would have the courage to say they really thought I was a bitch) and how they wish they would’ve known me more, longer and that it was too soon.

I have seen people post about how they think they will receive more flowers when they’re dead but none now. And it all makes sense. But there’s always two sides of the story. They will post their stories, I will write my blog talking about how people might miss me when I’m no more but, am I also doing what I’d want done for me? Getting to know them better, checking up on them, giving them flowers when alive rather than awaiting death!?

To be honest, I have not done any of that.(Thinking about it now, I will make an effort). I am too much in my head. Lately, I am. Sometimes we have too much to say but we are afraid to burden others with our words. And then comes the feelings of alone and lonely, thoughts of death. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I want to die. Sometimes all we want to do is talk to someone, but then we feel like noone will understand so we keep keeping to ourselves, not talking about us and not asking about others.

A while back I used to post alot of sensitive stuff about my life on Facebook. Then a friend told me that maybe the reason I do that is because I actually have noone to talk to. Maybe he was right, sometimes we just want someone to listen without feeling like we’re burdening them.

But a fact is that we feel alone for a reason. There is a reason I’m soo much in my feelings and writing this. On the positive side though, I’m not stuffing my feelings down or hiding behind walls.

When you feel like nobody in the world cares about you, remember that you are not alone. Your feelings are a normal part of being human. You, me, we all were created with a longing in our hearts – a yearning for deep connection, true meaning, and sincere love in our lives. The feeling that something is missing and nobody cares is a simply part of being a healthy human being. Everyone feels this way at some point in their lives. It hurts, it sucks, I hate it…but it’s part of being alive.

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